One of the most challenging parts of meeting new people, including potential dates, is the initial conversation. Small talk is awkward and even though everyone wants to lead with something more than “hello”, it doesn’t always turn out to go that way.
But, if you want to get a girl’s attention via text or online message, you really have to know what to say as well as how to start a conversation with a girl online. For example, being clever will earn you big points, while cheesy pickup lines will likely get you ignored (unless you make it clear that you’re using them ironically—some women dig that). Take the time to think about what you have to offer. What’s she interested in? How did you connect? Where would you like this conversation to go?
These are all great ways to get ideas about how to start a conversation with a girl. It doesn’t have to be difficult to talk to girls online. All you have to do is be yourself and be willing to open up and do more than just say “hi.”
How to Start a Conversation With a Girl
Online dating conversation starters are similar to the topics you’d use to engage with someone in a physical interaction. You do have a little more room for creativity here and you can always start by referencing their profile or something that attracted you to them. Whatever you do, please, please, please, SKIP:
- What’s good?
- How you doin?
- Etc., etc., etc.
She probably gets dozens of messages from guys that start the same way. If you don’t take the time to put some thought into the very first thing you say, she’s going to notice. Get her attention. Even using a non-traditional greeting or starting right in with a rapid-fire question list could catch her interest better than just saying “hi” in one of its many forms.
What about texting? Some people want to know what to text a girl to start a conversation. The answer will be similar. Say something more than “hello” and make sure that you give her something to respond to. Small talk is for small minds—get creative and get right to the good stuff if you want to keep her engaged.
Tips and Tricks for Chatting with Girls Online or Via Text
Guys often get a bad rap for coming off as “creepy” when they try to talk to a girl. However, if you do it right, you can be charming and get her attention. Here are a few more tips to start a conversation with a girl to help you make the most of your conversations, no matter what you’re hoping to gain (a friend, dates, etc.).
- Ask if she wants to talk. Consent is sexy, and if nothing else, you’ll come off as less of a creep because you show that you respect her time and value her input. This will often get her interested even more than what you discuss.
- Give compliments, but keep them sparse and classy. Perhaps you’ll want to comment on her eyes, her unique sense of style, or even the way she does her hair. In any case, make it known that you appreciate what you’ve seen so far and want to know more.
- Be honest. There’s a lot to be said for honesty. Even if you’re not sure what you’re looking for, say that to the girls that you talk to online. That way, everyone will be on the same page. Make sure that important topics are brought up and addressed right away so that you can save time. For example, if family is important to you but she is happy to be single and travel and date for fun, you might not be a match.
- Give her control of the conversation. Don’t make her initiate or carry the conversation, but make sure that she has outs, options, and a way to express what she wants so that you don’t overstep or go too far.
- The use of text gives you the chance to craft the perfect message. Take full advantage of that. You aren’t put on the spot nearly as much and will have time to create interesting and engaging responses, questions, and more.
- Make sure that your profile is strong, too. Even if you have the best conversations, she’s going to want to have another way to find out more about you. This includes any dating profiles, social media profiles, or other online accounts you have where you may interact.
Mistakes to Avoid
Finally, avoid these common mistakes when you’re trying to carry on a conversation with a girl online.
- Skip the pickup lines. They don’t really work and even ironically, they can be tiresome to many women.
- Use correct spelling and grammar. You might not realize how big of a difference it can make, but it could actually become a dealbreaker at some point.
- Don’t start with an opening line about how beautiful she is. Even if she is, you can tell her later. That’s what everyone leads with. You have to stand out.
- Don’t start a conversation and then take over by only talking about your life and yourself.
- Don’t bore her with generic topics like the weather. Get specific and discuss both of your interests.
- Skip the yes and no questions. These are a horrible choice because they lead conversations to a dead end. Find a way to ask questions that elicit an answer that is more than just “yes” or “no.”
Remember, you’re trying to get her attention in a good way. Don’t start with just “hi,” and certainly don’t copy/paste your welcome message to different girls because eventually, they’ll catch on. Be personal, be yourself, and be the type of man she wants to talk to.
These are just a few ideas to keep in mind when you’re trying to figure out the best way to start a conversation with a girl that you’re interested in. Depending on where you connect and what kind of shared interests you have, you could have a lot more discussion topics, too.